The Universe doesn't give a shit about your plans. Startling from a spiritual blogger? Probably. But it's true. At least sometimes.
While I believe in free will, I also believe the Universe will nudge us in the right direction when we need a little guidance. Sometimes this nudge can feel like a kick in the nuggets while you're already kneeling. Life can be funny like that.
It's happened to me many times before (one time of which is documented here), it's happening to me now, and I have no doubt it will happen again. Because I'm a Taurus, which means I can be stubborn. But I had plans, damn it! Plans that were already plotted out in a day planner. That shit is binding!
Yet sometimes the Universe has bigger plans. Plans we can't always see at the time. Plans that usually make sense in hindsight, even though it really, really sucks at the time.
Bear with me here. I'm a little cranky from lack of sleep. =D
This blog, for example, came only after the Universe gave me a proverbial shove. I spent a few years trying desperately to become a novelist. I wrote several novels, some I'm extremely proud of, some that need serious editing. (Learning curve and what not.) But no matter the genre I wrote or the approach I took, nothing ever seemed to really stick. The turning point came when, after a few months of fruitlessly wasting my days at the keyboard spending more time deleting useless prose than producing anything even marginally readable, I realized something was amiss. Something was inhibiting my creativity, and I needed to let go and trust. Because fighting it was futile. Sort of like trying to windsurf in a hurricane.
After a session of brainstorming that, in honesty, looked a lot more like me talking AT my husband than actual chatting (You can read more about that here), the idea for this blog came to me from seemingly nowhere. And you know what? I'm really flipping glad something stopped me from writing that novel. Because I truly love writing for this blog. And more than writing, I've found interacting with you lovely readers far more fulfilling than I ever imagined. With complete sincerity, thank you for every comment, every "like," and every e-mail, because each and every interaction is genuinely appreciated.
My long-winded point, dear friends, is that once again the Universe has
Basically, writing feeds my soul. Writing at the computer feeds, well, nothing. Years ago, when I was a teen, someone made a foolish mistake, like humans tend to do. A driver pulled out in front of me, realized he didn't have enough time to cross the rural highway, and stopped dead in my tracks. Fortunately no one was seriously injured. Unfortunately, my neck has been more jacked up than a football bat ever since. And working on the computer is not helping things. Generally, this manifests as intense migraines. But lately it's gotten even worse. (Because evidently a silly little migraine just wasn't enough to get my attention!) After a few months of numb hands, searing nerve pain, and horrific sleep, my chiropractor broke the news: computer work sucks for people.
All people. The human kind of people. Because it jacks with posture. We were meant to frolic in the woods, not live on iPhones.
With that said, I took a week off from the computer, focused on physical activity, and I felt 80% better! Good news for my body! Bad news for the blog.
The answer is simple: I need to slow down. Which is the exact opposite of what I had been doing up until last week. You see, 2018 is the year my husband and I have been waiting for. In a mere 6 months, his contractual obligation to the government is over. We get to pack up everything we own, move clear across the country (treeeeesss!), change careers (farming!), and squeeze in a cross-country trip in the process. A trip we've spent the last 5 years scrimping and saving for. It's truly a chance of a lifetime, one I'm super grateful for and don't intend to squander!
In order to make sure you wonderful Pagans were supplied with spell-tacular goodies while we are on the road, I've been doubling up on work, furiously writing posts and trying to squeeze out one more book before we hit the road.
Again...in 6 months. All while dealing with the logistics of a cross-country move. That's kind of a crap load of work. Which is a legit unit of measure, by the way. I think it's part of the metric system. But I had it allllll scheduled out in my adorable little day planner. Post-its and all. That shit was tighter than a pair of jeans from 15 years ago.
And the Universe laughed and laughed and threw in a road block. Because apparently it has something else in store. Probably healing. Because you know what would really ruin our hard-earned road trip? Not sleeping due to nerve pain. I'm a horrible person when I'm tired. Really. Like, even I can't stand me. Have you seen how much swearing has made it into this post? And that's what I didn't edit out. =/
As a side note, I know I'm most definitely not the first person to deal with pain, especially poorly-timed pain. So I'm guessing you can relate. If you can, keep searching for answers. Because healing comes in many forms and it's different for every single person. Your body was meant to heal. Don't give up because someone tells you it's impossible! But that's a topic for another post.
With that said, I made the decision to
But it's time to put my money where my coffee-hole is and actually trust the process, which brings me to the point of this post:
Sometimes we simply have to let go and have faith that the Universe has the map. And the compass. And a really kick-ass nav system.
Don't get me wrong. A person can't throw in the towel the moment something gets a touch challenging. But if you've been coming at a dilemma from left, right, over the top, around the back, and up the middle and you STILL can't make it work, there's usually a reason. As much as we may fight and despite any tantrums we may throw, no amount of swearing is going to force the square resolution into a round hole.
Using my own situation as an example, I can't tell you why this puzzle won't come together. Maybe it's as simple as needing time to replenish the creative reserves. Maybe I've been neglecting my own health in the name of work (somewhere, miles away from this computer, my sweet husband is nodding vigorously and he has no idea why.). What I can tell you is I've chosen to trust. That doesn't mean it's not uncomfortable. And that doesn't mean I'm not questioning every single decision I'm making right now. I'm human, a stubborn one at that. But I am working on letting go of the need for complete control. Because the Universe hasn't failed me yet, and I trust it's not leading me down a dark alley just to rob me and steal my sneakers.
I mean, they were $20 at Target. I'm *pretty* sure the Universe can afford that.
Despite technology literally being a pain in my neck, it also helps me track what you most enjoy on the blog. Which—surprise, surprise!—is spells and sabbats. So guess what this blogger is queuing up for you? =D
I want to express how much I truly appreciate your support and readership, which is why this decision was difficult for me. I genuinely love interacting with you! I feel energized by writing spells and answering readers’ questions and getting into very strange positions just to get that perfect angle for a photo. When I say this site has been a blessing, one of the few things to keep me sane during my last couple years in
*Deep, calming breaths*
But the reality is I can't jeopardize my health. Because if I lose my arms it will be impossible for me to write at all. Or to apply mascara. I'm Irish, man. You can't tell I have eyelashes without it!
So while the quantity may ebb just a bit, quality will remain my focus. Think of this site like a really killer cheese platter. =D
The beauty in being spiritual individuals is that we don't have to have all the answers all the time. Sometimes you simply need to heed the signs, find a little balance, and trust the Universe. Because it hasn't lead you astray (or stolen your sneakers) thus far! ;)
Has the Universe ever shoved you in a direction you didn't want to take? Have you ever left a troublesome path only to find the new option is more appropriate?
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