Penniless Pagan: Sucky People, Rabid Racoons, and Spells

We’re moving to a new house, which will be better in the long run but right now feels like I just drank a gallon of caustic battery acid and am now doing the tango with a rabid raccoon who keeps snapping for the jugular every time I move in close.

Raccoons are pesky like that.

We weren’t planning on moving for the next seventeen months. In fact, it was so off the radar that we were utterly blindsided, leaving us in an emotional tangle of instability and unease. I’m a Taurus. I don’t like change. I especially don’t like change when it leaves me feeling ungrounded, unsettled, and insecure. I really, REALLY don’t like change when it’s brought on by a….what’s the word? Asshat? Yeah, let’s go with asshat...

I really, REALLY don’t like change when it’s brought on by an asshat who has no common decency or basic understanding that he lives in a duplex, and duplexes have neighbors. Who like to sleep. At night. Without the soothing thump-thump-thud of my vital organs jiggling to the vibrational equivalent of a freight train passing through my living room.

Trust me, he’s THAT much of a douche. Let me explain.

It all began the morning of New Year’s Eve 2016, which actually started very well. My husband and I both got a good night’s sleep. We were very optimistic to begin our last full year here in New Mexico. Which, if you haven’t seen me discuss this on the blog, is not my favorite place to live. “Favorite” being a euphemism for the last place in America I would ever choose to live.

Forgive my candidness, I’m sleep-deprived.

But since my husband is contractually obligated to his job until mid 2018, here in the desert we be. So we both rolled out of bed, refreshed and eager to ring in the New Year with a Cops marathon and some freshly cut veggies. We party hard like that.

All was going well until we found a gutted and decapitated rabbit on our back patio roughly thirteen and a half minutes after we awoke. Now, I love a pile of guts as much as the next animal-loving gal, but I couldn’t help but feel this was 2016’s one final “Hey! Go F yourself!” of the year.

…I mean, the year STARTED with my head in a toilet. And not because I partied hard on NYE 2015 with more freshly cut veggies. No, I begin 2016 with the stomach flu. Throw in the unexpected death of a very close family member that brought me to my proverbial knees and it’s been a hell of a year.

Then 2016 ended in mercury retrograde, a final “bite me” to the world if you ask me! ;) So the new neighbor that had moved into the duplex (not 24 hours before said deceased lagomorph found its sad demise on my back patio) turned out to be the most incorrigible person I’ve encountered in some time.

After 72 hours of window-rattling bass, and zero compassion or compromise from the bastard, we realized we had no choice but to move. If this sounds drastic to you, imagine living INSIDE a techno club that’s located within a movie theater that’s filled with Monster-swilling jerks who slam the door in your husband’s face after he politely asks for the floor-vibrating thrash music to be turned down.

…at 1 AM. Because we’re just uptight like that.

I'd like to reiterate that I’m all for seeing the positive. 2016 was by far a rough year, one that will be remembered as such. Rightly so. But it wasn’t all bad. I launched this blog, which has given me so much peace and grounding and wonderful, MUCH appreciated warm reception from you fantastic readers! Truly, it’s been a huge blessing. And normally I can handle quite a bit. Generally as long as I have my family, a house, and we’re not starving, I’m doing fine.

Well, that stuff and books. Everyone should have endless books.

But one thing I can’t tolerate is a complete lack of consideration and human decency. In my own home. Because he may be on the other side of a wall, but I hear everything. So it’s like an extended roommate. We have to have consideration for one another. Hence why my husband doesn’t play drums at two in the morning. We’ve lived here three years. We never had an issue with the family that lived there prior. Our new situation was abundantly clear: we could live in an extremely uncomfortable environment wherein we'd soon know the cops on a first name basis, or we could move.

Again, this may sound extreme and preemptive. And normally I'm not so easily swayed by others' actions. But I've found in my life that the Universe has a way of gently nudging you towards a better path. And sometimes, when said Taurus is too stubborn to change, the Universe will force your ass into gear whether you like the transition or not. While the dude next door is a tool, I also believe he's a catalyst for a change I wasn't otherwise willing to undertake. As I said, we have seventeen months left at this location. I wouldn't have moved unless I was forced to. Yet as we began the process of looking for a new home, things came together suspiciously quickly.

The first rental we looked at sat on two quiet acres in the desert—all the better for writing. The home was in our price range. The first night we went hunting for moving boxes we found a house just two streets over who set out an entire load of pristine professional moving boxes complete with all the wrapping we would need. So, despite my hesitance and maaaaaybe a meltdown or two, I couldn't deny the signs that were being presented to me:

This was for the better. Even if it didn't feel like it presently.

Change is uncomfortable. Even change for the good can feel like a pelvic exam with a cold speculum. Especially when you weren't expecting it. But I also believe everything happens for a reason. In the innate benevolence of the Universe, I trust.

And that, my friends, is the story of how we found ourselves moving. With a mere three weeks to pack an entire house, mentally and physically plan for a major life change, and clean a two-story duplex from top to bottom.

Doesn’t exactly leave me a whole lot of time for writing. Or reading. That bastard. *Waves fist at shared wall*

So while we settle into our new home, please enjoy the top five posts from 2016 (in no particular order). And if you haven’t scored yourself a copy of my FREE e-book, The Spells of 2016, you can do so by signing up for my newsletter at the top right side of the screen.